Parting ways from a person you love can flip your whole world upside down. Breakups are accompanied by intense emotions and a lot of stress. In the aftermath, self care, relaxation and rest become critically important for managing stress and for initiating healing.
When we are stressed out, our bodies experience a very real physiological reaction, shifting all critical resources to help us manage the stressor. “The Stress Response” is initiated any time we encounter a situation perceived as dangerous or threatening. When the fragile human ecosystem is allowed to operate in this state for long periods of time, we begin to experience broader reaching effects on our quality of life and our health.
Our ancestors had the same physiological response to stress that we do; except their survival literally depended on their ability to “Fight, Flight or Freeze.” The ability to run from, fight or hide from danger is initiated deep within the human nervous system. Our nervous system has two tracks, and only one can be in control at any given time. The sympathetic nervous system initiates “Fight, Flight or Freeze,” and when activated our heart rate, blood pressure, mental alertness and muscle tension all increase. The response to stress works if you are running from a predator, but it is less than ideal for longer term situations because our ability to digest and eliminate food and to grow, repair and reproduce are all shut down. When our bodies are unable to repair and heal, the system becomes more stressed out. If left unattended a stressed out system can lead to anxiety, depression, digestive problems, heart disease, weight gain, sleep problems and memory impairment.
The good news is that yoga can help, by shifting you out of“fight-or-flight” and toward “rest and relax.” Coined by Dr. Herbert Benson, “The Relaxation Response”, is a conscious state of deep rest that changes the physical and emotional responses to stress. Simple practices such as deep breathing, focusing on soothing words (japa), visualizing tranquil scenes, repetitive prayer (mantra), meditation and yoga asana, are all great ways to counteract the stress of a breakup.
Its time to stop letting your breakup impact your overall wellbeing, try the relaxing practice below.
Lie on a flat surface with a pillow or two under your knees, a pillow or blanket under your head and a blanket for warmth over your body. Ensure that nothing else is touching you.
Place one hand on your stomach and the other on your heart. Take a few normal breaths in and out. Starting on your next breath, breathe in for four counts, and out for four counts. Observe the natural rise and fall of the ribs and stomach. Be curious about the natural pauses between the in breath and out breath.
After 20 rounds return to normal breathing. Observe any shifts in sensation or changes you feel in your mind or body as a result of the exercise. Stay lying in this position for 5-10 more minutes.
When you are ready to come out, slowly hug your knees to your chest, roll over to one side and come up to sit. Take five more normal breaths paying attention to how you feel.
Repeat whenever you need to re-establish calm.
